The wife didn’t appreciate my attempt at reassurance. Apparently being told we were fully paid up with the life assurance wasn’t the authoritative response required to her safety questions.

The ledge outside our top floor suite is at least two feet wide and the moss isn’t too slippery at this time of year so despite being 50 feet up in the air it didn’t feel too precarious when I was out there painting today. Not when I could cling by my fingertips to the window frame and almost reach where I needed to paint. Besides, it made me feel like a freeclimber, but without the abs of steel and perma-tan.  And at least you get to see a nice view of where I was on our blog.

Yes, mid-November and the inevitable slackening in custom brings many opportunities to hoteliers who scoff at exorbitant quotes for simply re-painting the building exterior.

Perhaps I should busy myself with an Evening with Peter Aliss at the Congress Theatre tomorrow or check out the Southern Youth Ballet’s forthcoming production of the Nutcracker.

My fitness would would certainly be improved by another run up to Beachy Head and back and, well, I might even feed the family if I take advantage of the ongoing mild temperatures and lightening winds and head out for a fish off the kayak.

But I fear that by mid-morning tomorrow onlookers will again be rubber-necking in disbelief at my middle-aged madness. I can only hope that before you next cross our threshold you raise your stare to admire the pristine paintwork overhead. And if the blog goes quiet from here you’ll know why.

VAT’s gone up. Inflation is following suit. Job cuts are in the air and it would appear that Britain is battening down the hatches. Thank goodness no one seems to be telling our guests.

A busy Christmas and New Year here at The Guesthouse East with a typically eclectic guestlist; escapees chrerishing life away from London, a writer seeking inspiration, stranded transatlantic travellers and a number enjoying festive visits to family locally in Eastbourne, but equally finding delight in the space (and tranquility….) of their suites.

I felt a pang of guilt yesterday suggesting to a lovely couple that the clear blue skies they could witness from the breakfast table made for perfect viewing at Beachy Head so off they walked. Straight into a downpour. Sorry guys. At least you got to enjoy the warmth and creativity of the latest exhibition at the Towner Gallery – Tamoaki Suzuki’s only solo event in the UK this year, featuring his figurative sculptures.  Well worth a visit, especially if you’re slightly damp.

And if you need some plain old economic encouragement to visit this month how about the offer of a free night? Stay for two nights and get the third night free. Crazy, indeed. It’s the least we can do when times are tough.

Call me on 01323 722774 to book your slot now.

Health and Safety would have had a fit seeing me stumble blindly around in the unlit loft searching for the decorations but we’re almost set up for Christmas in Eastbourne at The Guesthouse East. Almost - half the lights have gone AWOL since being packed, the sherry is already drunk (well, it was my duty to sample the bottle to ensure it was appropriately delicious for guests) and my back has barely recovered from the recent snow-shovelling (which would have melted overnight anyway).

While I’m still firmly entrenched in bah-humbug mode, it seems others are being far more proactive – we’ve been persuaded to offer vouchers to stay here for Christmas gifts, so if you are stuck for ideas there is still time for us to personalise a voucher for you for as little as £70 for a night’s stay for two people. Surely a better idea than a dressing gown and bath salts??

If you can’t stomach giving away such delights can I suggest a getaway for you? We still have suites available for Christmas itself – and we have a frankly Ker-razy December offer, giving away a free night when you book two. I know, bonkers. Call 01323 722774 now to book.

We’ve just moved to a new school and are now studying a completely new curriculum, so to speak, since we’re fresh to this whole hotelier life in Eastbourne. So to be formally assessed and graded against everything from cleanliness, service and bathroom decoration is enough to set anyone on edge.

And like preparing for that school report you can put yourself on best behaviour, plumping up pillows and paying even more attention to cooking those locally-sourced breakfast sausages, but, boy, is it painful.

 So….a mighty sigh of relief when those gurus from Visit Britain decide we’re worth four-stars and a special silver rating! And a whopping 5-stars for hospitality and breakfast. Blimey.

As it turned out we had no idea it was the assessor until she produced her badge after checking out. Probably just as well. Too much doffing of cap aint pretty.

If you know you Latin from your Ballroom, your Cha Cha from your Tango, you’ll be keen to hear that two of Strictly Come Dancing’s top stars Anton Du Beke and Erin Boag are putting on a performance at the Congress Theatre in Eastbourne this February.

If you missed the sell-out tour last year be quick to book now – and while you’re at it, book some handily-placed accommodation in Eastbourne, such as the suitably chic hotel Guesthouse East on Hartington Place. Double suites are only £70 per night mid-week in February so dust off the DJ and polish the patent leather. Check availability.

I’ve dusted down the barrels and even found 3 matching flights. Ok, my board looks like it came free with 2 litres of Esso oil back in 1987 (it did) but suddenly I feel I could be the new Phil The Power. The Ginger Magician perhaps? Frankly, Eric Bristow, aka The Crafty Cockney, was always a boyhood hero and somehow seemed to live the dream a bit more. Ahh, those epic battles with Jockey Wilson….

The closing date for entries for this year’s Eastbourne Darts Open is Monday 11th January so be quick if you fancy pulling a tight polyester top over the beer belly and taking on the big boys.

Though be warned: ‘No jeans, trainers, track suits to be worn on stage’. Poetic.

Somehow I feel I’ll be forced to fall back on vicarious enjoyment yet again (I never did get spotted by acting agents during Brighton Rock), and maybe I’ll get some high-rolling players staying here – the Winter Gardens, the home of darts for the weekend – is just 2 minutes down the road so who knows?

If you fancy staying here at The Guesthouse East, to either rack up a few legs with me or use as a base for your assault on the title click here for availability or ring on 01323 722774.

Having a hotel in Eastbourne has its advantages – I get to sample all the delights – after all, how could I possibly recommend activities, restaurants, treatments, etc without first working out what deserves to be recommended??

I’m currently sitting here in a state of hazy bliss after half an hour in a suite here at The Guesthouse East in the clearly capable hands of Christina Wood. Or no hands as it turns out. No hands massage?? Hmm, that’s what I thought….but it turns out to be deeper and somehow more relaxing than the conventional method I’ve enjoyed over many years.

Christina also offers reflexology, aromatherapy, reiki, facials and manicures and all these are available on-site – see here for more details or call on 01323 722774 to kick off 2010 with a stay in our boutique bed and breakfast in Eastbourne and combine it with some energising treatments.

My body seems to be telling me to slow down. Or at least to ignore Mike’s ‘encouragement’ at the regular Running Inn training sessions on a Wednesday night when we enjoy (or is that endure?) an array of different workouts along the Eastbourne sea front.

Mike’s definitely the bad cop of the dynamic team (no doubt thanks to the military background) with Fiona providing the soothing voice. Thankfully there’s a full range of ages and abilities with an opportunity to hide in the pack but inevitably my competitiveness will kick in and I’ll look to cling on to the A-group of serious runners, with their marathons in the bag. Still, they seem to tolerate my clumping steps and gasping  behind them and I’ll get a bit of encouragement at various breaks.

Getting ready for action

The Guesthouse East, the boutique hotel on Hartington Place, is always the start point, from 7.30pm on Wednesday evenings. Just pop along to sample a session and Mike and Fiona will talk to you about the club and the variety of training sessions on offer and you can meet the members and enjoy the banter. You might even want to sign up to one of the training weekends, where you’d receive a fitness assessment, pilates taster session, nutrition workshop and massage – as well as personal trainer-supported runs on the South Downs.  The next course is 22-24 Jan so a great chance to lose those mince pies!

As for today, I think some stretching is in order and Beachy Head is definitely out of bounds…

Chill wind, frost-bitten fingers, a precarious ledge and vertigo. A great combination. Hotelier life in Eastbourne with a Grade II-listed property is nothing if not rock ‘n roll – a spot of pointing above a window bay has been the crescendo of the morning after seamlessly adopting the roles of cleaner, financial analyst, website optimiser and bookeeper. And a nice sounding chap is on his way round to look at a suite so I’d better get my customer-facing head back on, dust myself down and look vaguely presentable.

Given that I must be on about 37p an hour (if I if I did the maths) I should make myself available for contracts – the minimum wage sounds VERY appealing…..